How To Know If You Are Really In Love Or Lust

This is a very serious issue,many
people has falling victim of lust
while looking for love.
I've learnt that most of the
youths in Nigeria and
diasporal,has been victim of lust
at one time or the other,so I
decided to teach on the topic.
After several dates, you feel
you've found the perfect person.
This is your dream mate, the one
who will stand by you through
thick and thin. You're ready to tie
the knot at last.
But is it love? Or is it a cheap
imitation, like infatuation, lust, or
even simple companionship?
Here are a few things to consider
as you make the ultimate life-
changing decision:
1. Do you want what's best for
this person, or do you want what
this person can do to help you?
For example, if your mate has the
chance to get a wonderful job in
another city, are you willing to
pull up stakes and move, or will
you expect the job opportunity
to get tossed aside for you? Love
means putting the other
person's needs ahead of your
own, even when that involves
sacrifice. While blind agreement
to any difference of opinion is
unrealistic and unreasonable, a
thoughtful discussion of what is
better for each of you individually
as well as both of you as a couple
needs to take place.
2. Do you enjoy looking at the
person or talking to the person
more? Both are important to a
mature relationship, but if you
find yourself fixated on physical
appearance, attracted to your
mate because of face, figure, or
form, you may be taking a
superficial look at your loved one.
On the other hand, you don't
want to be taken in by flattery or
false statements. If your
significant other is all talk and no
action, that can be a warning
sign to drop the relationship
before you end up with one
broken promise after another. A
balance of physical and mental
attraction is a healthy signal.
3. Are you willing to wait to make
the relationship work? For
example, if your mate pushes you
to do things you don't feel
comfortable with, can you firmly
say no? Will your response be
handled respectfully and with
patience? It goes both ways, too.
Are you willing to wait on your
partner to get more serious
when he or she is ready, or are
you demanding more interaction
now? Can you wait to marry until
the other person finishes school
or are you pushing to live
together first? Patience is an
important virtue associated with
successful, long-term
relationships.
4. Do you support each other by
anticipating and meeting needs?
For example, if you need to work
extra right now to pay off debt
before getting married, does
your mate understand that the
situation is temporary and
willingly wait for you to put in
the extra hours at your job,
rather than complain about your
absence? If the person has a list
of errands to run before the two
of you can get together, do you
offer to help?
5. Are you friends?
Companionship lasts much
longer than ardor, generally
speaking. People in their 70's,
80's, and 90's may lose some of
their physical spontaneity, but
they maintain a quest for fun and
a shared life until the end. Do you
laugh together? Enjoy similar
activities? Share each other with
friends and family? Or do you
expect your perfect mate to
spend all free time with you
exclusively?
Loving another person involves
self-sacrifice and compromise. If
you are attracted to someone for
whom you are unwilling to be
patient and to share all parts of
your life, you may have a lot of
work to do or disappointment to
deal with after the wedding.
Take time now to assess your
relationship with these and other
factors to see if you can make a
life that could last fifty years or
more with the person of your
dreams. Because when you wake
up, your mate will still be there.