Wednesday, 28 March 2012

WHAT TO TALK ABOUT ON A FIRST DATE


When you’re on a first date, it’s easy to get all caught up in demonstrating, what a fine, strapping male you are. Don’t forget that you’re also evaluating her worthiness as well. One important thing that you must know about your date is compatibility.

If your interest is establishing a long term relationship, then there has to be something that the two of you are on the same page about. A previous post discussed how to keep conversation flowing on a first date by being focused on and remembering interesting and unusual things that she happens to say.

These provide lots of starting points for further conversation where you can ask open ended questions. This provides for lots of opportunity to learn more about who she is. But this strategy is incomplete. So far, she’s been doing most of the talking. All you’ve done is help her to talk about herself.

This would be great if you were a talk show host and were interviewing her. But this is a date and you’ll have to contribute to the conversation as well. So what do you say? Well here’s a tip that will allow you to kill two birds with one stone. She gets to find out about you and you get find out if the two of you are compatible. Here it is: Where ever it feels natural, try to insert comments and stories that involve your interests and your passions. I’m not talking about steering the conversation to what you want to talk about.

If she’s talking about subject ‘A’ then that’s what you’ll talk about. But the conversation will naturally move on to other things or there will be a lull. That will be your cue to talk about yourself. If you’re really into travel, then you will relate some interesting or bizarre or funny stories about what happened to you when you were traveling abroad.

When you’re doing this, pay attention to her reactions and enthusiasm. If she’s into travel herself and tells a few of her own travel stories, that’s great. If she’s never traveled before but is very intrigued and entertained by your travel talk, that’s also great. If she’s bored or starts talking about something else, then she’s revealed to you that she doesn’t share this travel passion of yours.

Throughout the date, repeat this process with your other interests. If you’re also into the great outdoors, then by all means tell her that bear story or whatever. The best way to reveal your interests is through personal stories. People find stories far more interesting than formal statements.

A point blank listing of your interests is over too quickly. It’s boring. Telling it in story format gives you the chance to be entertaining and allows you ample opportunity gauge her interest or disinterest. If though this process, you find that the two of you are compatible, your date was a success. If you find that she is not a compatible person, then your date was also a success.

Now you won’t have to spend any more time with this person and can quickly move on.

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